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She and I

"Can you believe it?" she tells me outraged in a transatlantic Skype call. "She asked me if I was a grandmother."

This is the culmination of a call with one of my best and oldest friends. We laugh and make scoffing noises, give a virtual shrug to indicate that this question was obviously not serious. We send each other hugs. We hang up.

And so what of it that someone asked her that question. We both turned 50 this year - within two days of each other in fact and yes, ok I'll admit I'm the oldest. Logically, she and I could both have grandchildren - apart from the fact that we both decided that children were not our bag. It's not unheard of - many 50 year old women do. Yet when I speak with her, I don't think of her as this age. I see and hear her as the 18 year old girl that I came to know when we both started secretarial college - see that in itself dates us. Do secretarial colleges even exist anymore? Can you still learn shorthand, typing and offi…
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The Essence of Stillness

I have recently returned from a wonderful yoga retreat in France.  While I was there this poem arrived and requested I write it - so here it is!
The Essence of Stillness



Perhaps it is in the morning mists that swirl across the fields Or in the petals of a flower waiting to unfurl Perhaps it is in the rise and fall of the belly of a sleeping cat Or in the bowing heads of sunflowers missing the summer sun Perhaps it is in the echo of a dragon fly's wing Or in a blade of grass swaying gently in the breeze Perhaps it is in the weight of an acorn that falls from a tree Or in the shimmer of a moonbeam reflected on the pond Perhaps it is in the curl of a frond from a passion fruit plant Or in the redness of an autumn berry newly formed Perhaps it is in the iridescent light captured in a single moment Or in the crisp leaves that snap underfoot Perhaps it is deep in the centre of me, aligned to my beating heart Or in the softness of my breath moving effortlessly in and out Perhaps it is there as I lay i…

Running from or running towards...

Last week I resumed an old relationship with - my running machine. We have, I think I would describe it as, a long distance relationship and that's nothing to do with running distances, but the fact that we just don't connect with each other that often. It's been on and off, on and off and for a long time off, but we had an unexpected meeting last week and it was ok. We decided we might meet up again.

Exercise seems to be something I like the idea of, yet in the grand scheme of my to do list each week, it's the item that stubbornly remains - carried forward to next weeks' list - staring at me long and hard and accusingly. If it were a Tamagotchi - it would have crawled into a corner and died long ago.

Yet last week, we connected three times. The first time, I thought I might actually have to have the break up talk - you know the conversation - it's me, not you which actually was the truth as five hours after my initial interval training - which for me actually …

The Magic of Stories

When it comes down to it, our lives are simply full of stories. The stories we share with our loved ones, our friends and family and of course the stories we tell ourselves. We all have our own stories, the experiences and moments that shaped us into who we are today. The hurts and losses, the happinesses and laughter.

Just think how many times we weave our stories into conversations with other people. Everyday work issues can become an elaborate drama. Relationships become a mini-series where we wait with anticipation for the next instalment.

Even complete strangers it seems will tell you their story, often (in my case anyway) in a very short period of meeting. It seems that the one life-altering moment cannot be held in - it leaks out either gently or spontaneously sometimes in such heartbreaking detail that upon hearing it you could sit down and sob.

I grew up in a childhood of stories. I lived alone with my mum from the age of seven, after my dad left. My mum worked long and unus…

My tiny rebellion

I have a secret to share with you. I've discovered something that gives you confidence, makes you feel good, doesn't break the bank and brings out a different side to you or it did in me. What can this magical thing be I hear you cry.

Wait for it...

A little bit longer...

Keep waiting...

Ok, time for the reveal...
















Yes, it's red lipstick

I was recently persuaded to give wearing red lipstick a go and when I say red, I mean real red, pillar box red - not pinks trying to act like red. As a woman fast approaching fifty (how did that happen?) I was a little unsure at first. Surely this type of red is strictly in the domain of younger women, surely red lipstick is for sirens, women of danger. I was thinking Bette Davis in All About Eve.

But then I thought hell yeah - why not. Why shouldn't I do it. And so I did.

The first time, I put it on, I felt transformed. I dressed up a little more than I usually would, found myself wearing heels. The lipstick demanded it.

I was sassy. …

Being Thank Full

There are some days in life when everything goes your way. Life feels good and easy. Worries and concerns that you might have had a few days ago seem to roll off you. Today is one of those days.

I feel thank full. Full of thanks for the joy that has been today.

It is the first of October and here in the UK, the weather is exceptionally mild and I am on holiday in Cornwall.





I am rested and refreshed. Today I stood on the beach watching dogs frolick, surfers dipping in and out of the waves and felt the warmth of sunshine on my face. I've eaten great food, laughed loud, read books and stood under the stars with the man I love.




Yes today really was a great day and I am thank full.

Be more Kate

A few weeks ago I was in the privileged position of being at one of Kate Bush's concerts. My husband being a forever fan had managed to secure tickets for us. I didn't realise just how privileged until the night of the concert. Don't get me wrong, I like Kate Bush and have enjoyed many of her songs. 'Cloudbusting' and 'Running up that Hill' are long time favourites of mine. I was looking forward to seeing her in the same way I've looked forward to other artists. However, I had no idea of the impact of attending this particular concert. It did something to me. It moved me. I would even go so far as to say it changed my life.

How can a concert possibly change your life you may wonder. The thing that came across so fiercely for me was the honesty in Kate and her music. She came on stage and it felt like I was listening to the one and only concert she was ever going to give. It felt like the first time and the last time even though I knew she was giving th…